The Present from Mister Rogers
A few nights ago, my wife and I settled in to watch a little
TV. I asked her if she wanted to “binge-watch” Psych or try a movie on Amazon
Prime called “Mr. Rodgers and Me.”[1]
She chose Mr. Rodgers and what a great choice. I knew a little about this TV
personality, but I never imagined the depth of the man. This film explores the
life and impact of Fred Rodgers by interviewing some of the well-known people whose
life he impacted. There is so much to admire and emulate in this man.
From the start, this film resonated deeply for me. In the
first five minutes they begin to explore a key quote from Mr. Rogers. “I feel
so strongly that deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and
complex.”[2]
Deep, simple, and elegant is so important and, is often ignored because these
things are not easy and they take so much energy to create. Easy does not make
it right. I know this and still, all too often, don’t slow down and spend the energy
it takes to create deep, simple, and elegant things. Part of this is being willing to take the time
required. A bigger part, for me, is being willing to first create something
shallow and complex that I can return to and craft into something that’s deep
and simple.
I often say, “You have to be willing to suck to get good.”[3]
But I don’t lean into that advice as often as I should. I hesitate to begin
writing, drawing, or creating a lesson because my thoughts are a tangled mess.
I’m waiting for the deep, simple, elegant thing to emerge fully formed. It
rarely[4]
does. You need to pass through the shallow water to get to the deep. Simple is
found on the other side of complicated. For me, shallow and complex feels like
an intellectual and emotional desert. The desired state of deep and simple is
found on the far side of the desert. This destination requires a journey; it
requires stepping out into difficult terrain. As in all classic stories, you
must cross the desert to get to the “Promised Land.” The journey of a thousand
miles starts with a single step. This step seems to require more energy than
most of the others. We must face the fear of the complicated and shallow and
step onto the trail that leads to simple, deep and elegant.
The journey to deep and simple is rarely a straight line. As
much as I hope for a flat, easy trail, there will be at least one section[5] that
proves to be a tough, uphill, switch-back requiring a slow, slogging, pace.
Progress often needs side-to-side or even backward movement. It feels good to
step forward. Too many of us would rather take a step forward even if it takes
us further from our destination. What feels like progress isn’t. It’s like
trying to undo a tangle by pulling each end of the string. You may increase the
length a bit but the tangle turns into a tight knot. It may feel good for a
moment, but it just makes the problem more difficult. It can feel frustrating
until you realize if you don’t make side and/or backward moves you’ll be pushes
off your path. Only diving into the complexity can give you an appreciation for
the issue and lead you to the elegance of the solution. When you can appreciate
the context and situation, you can find even the steep switchbacks enjoyable.[6]
Back to Mr. Rogers. While he created a deep and simple
children’s program that impacted so many people. One quality each person
interviewed in the movie focused on what his consistent “presence.” He always
created deep and simple interactions with people. As I watched I was struck by
his consistency. I value presence and creating space for other’s voices. At my
best I might do this in 20%-30% of interactions. Mr. Rogers not only did this
in the majority of interactions but, according to the people interviewed, he
was deeply present with almost 100% of the people he interacted with. It didn’t
matter if he was with a child or adult, a group or an individual. He brought
with him a space where people could deal with real, hard things in a safe
place. When he received a lifetime achievement Emmy in 1997[7] he
not only thanked all the people who helped him through the years, he also asked
everyone in the audience to take 10 seconds[8] to
think about all the people who helped them. A powerful moment. On an
international stage he created space for us all to grow our gratitude. An
audience of entertainers and TV stars is a challenge. Even more amazing is how
he created this same simple and deep place in US Senate hearings in 1969[9]
when they were considering a $20 million cut in PBS funding. Mr. Rogers’ simple
statements such as “Feelings are mentionable and manageable” and “I give an
expression of care every day to each child” moved the chairman of the
committee, Senator Pastore to say, “I’m supposed to be a pretty tough guy but
this is the first time I’ve had goosebumps for the last two days.” To end his
testimony, Mr. Rogers recited a song from his program called “What do you do
with the mad that you feel.” To this Senator Pastore responded "I think
it's wonderful. I think it's wonderful. Looks like you just earned the $20
million."
Simple and deep. Mr. Rogers gave me this present – When
working on anything, slow down, face the challenge, work through the shallow
and complex to get to simple and deep. He also gave me this present[10]
to be with people.
[2] Or
as Jimmy Buffett puts it “I’ve got a PBS mind in an MTV world.”
[3] I
first heard this sentiment (stated much more elegantly) by my friend Craig
McNair Wilson – “Anything worth starting is worth starting poorly.”
[4]
Never
[5]
Probably more than one.
[6]
This is why the first step is still more difficult than the climb. In hiking,
switchbacks always lead to a great view.
[8] “I’ll
watch the time.”
[9] Mister
Rogers’ Neighborhood, 1969 Senate Hearings, PBS Kids https://youtu.be/J9uIJ-o2yqQ (length -
7:30)
[10]
By “this present” I mean this very moment, right now. I too can create a space
for people around me that helps other find their deep and simple.
Comments