The Myth of "Work-Life Balance"

The Myth of "Work-Life Balance"
Looking at my own life and the lives of the people I work with reveals work-life balance is an unachievable myth. When I think about balance my brain pictures a scale, like the scales of justice but with three plates; work, personal/home and sleep. Each day has 24 hours or "chips" to place on one of the three plates.  Balance is achieved by placing eight chips on each plate. Rarely do I experience a balanced day. It's the rare exception and not a sustainable state. Change is the norm. There is too much variance in my life to keep the chips evenly spread across the scale. One unexpected event throws my balance all out of whack.

Work-Life Balance may not only be unachievable but undesirable. Maintaining balance implies reacting to change and variance. Balance implies a static state; no movement. Once balance is achieved we do what we can maintain it. A focus on balance can make us "change-averse" in a world that is always changing. It keeps me unmoving as the world flys by. Balance may not be the best metaphor for creating and sustaining a fulfilling life. 

Work-Life Presence my be a more useful image. Can you be fully present where ever you find yourself? At work am I thinking about what I'm missing at home, or, when at home Am I thinking about (or actually doing) the email in my inbox? My thoughts and energy are divided and I can't apply all my skills, abilities and experience. You're fragmented. Being present means you are able to bring all of who you are to the moment at hand. You are able access your best thinking to respond intentionally to changes and disruptions rather than just react. Work-Life Presence accepts the times when there needs to be more chips on the work plate but also understands when the personal/home plate needs to have more weight. 

Building Work-Life Presence helps us accept the value of sleep and wellness. If we are not rested and in good health we will not be able to be present and perform when needed in any context. No matter how well you plan, schedule and make calendars, if you are not present with energy when the time comes to act you will not be able to perform. It's like re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. You may have a beautiful, color-coordinated calendar make but it's still going down. There are times when you may have to sacrifice sleep to get a task or project done. Other times you will need to rest and recover from intense seasons in you life in order to maintain energy and presence. Focusing on presence helps you make good choices about how to manage your energy and gives you permission to take care of yourself. 

Work-Life Balance allows us to value all aspects of our life but can set us up for disappointment when we can make things balance out. Work-Life Presence also helps us value all aspects of our lives and encourages us to consider all of who we are in every moment and context of our lives. 

"How we live our days is how we live our lives"   - Annie Dillard    



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